C for those sad enough to enjoy others misfortune nobody can kill you if you are dead inside.
i will never stop trying to find common ground with someone during a conflict and working through things. but now i have set up personal boundaries for what kind of behavior and attitude i will not tolerate.
one must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star." - friedrich nietzsche " chaos is the unexpected. chaos is the parts of ourselves we are still working on. chaos is the process of art creation when we allow ourselves to explore new techniques, new formats, new avenues. " chaos is thinking out of the box and looking for ways of doing things that are different to what we are used to. from chaos we learn. structure can give us freedom. chaos can give us freedom. " there are lots of things to cherish from the unexpected.
There are days when things feel kind of meaningless. 11
Didn't really want to post this but I think in a way it is important for me to share because I know there are others that feel this way.
I hope your day gets better.
I hope you can find the strength to keep pushing.
I'm grateful for the lessons those memories have taught me . I'm grateful those memories have now started to fade.
There are mistakes, situations when I felt embarrassed,
decisions that I've made that I'm not proud of, etc that constantly replay in my head.
Over the years, some of these memories willstandout more than others and they will replay over and over until they just sort of become part of a cycle of thoughts.
They will linger on for years. As we go through life, some memories fade and new ones take their place.
I learn from all of these memories but there are some that definitely become a burden to hold.
I'm grateful when the most hurtful of these thoughts are replaced.
well she said she'd stick around until the bandages came off
Everything, everything around is moving on too fast, while I couldn't swallow yet some pills I should've got rid off way back in the past. It's weighting, making me change in ways I never wished for myself, as if I was two persons living in different times, feeling differently about the very same storylines, and yet, I am tied to the past. I've been looking at the world changing, evolving in some ways, getting better, being worse too, and somehow, I am still the same, and there this voice comes and asks me "are you?", never knew what to answer but "it doesn't matter", and probably will never, and that probably the only answer, I would have cared back, before I loved hearing the seconds telling me how closer I am getting to what I've led myself to. Such a shame, wasting my energy on not getting over, waiting for time to wash up and clean up the wounds that aren't here, might be they never were either. Looking through the window, seeing how buildings reach their tops so far, how people care only about themselves, ironically, makes me realize how stupid I am for not doing the same, for caring about others rather than myself, I should've been selfish. But the world's moving on, and I am here, tying myself to myself but not quite the same self, hoping that someone, someday, will get my back from that chair, and take me away, and I'm betting more on time, what a shame. Now, I'm gone,lost, and lose.
many young men started down a false path to their true destiny. time and fortune usually set them aright.
at some point in the process of growing up I decided that I would mostly deal with my problems or issues in silence, not wanting to bother others and because the advice I got was not really helpful. 1"
this inevitably made my life a lonely experience in many ways, always attending to issues that others could not perceive or know about. 1"
there is a beauty in the image of a light during the night looking for answers because that is what it feels like to be isolated, to feel a bit lonely. 11
these tendencies have gotten better over time and it is one of the things I want to improve on but I wanted to share this because I know there are others like me.
Something to encourage myself this year. I want to venture more into areas that are outside my comfort zone, I want to keep pushing myself with new challenges. I want to fight my sense of embarrassment and sense of failure. I will always be more naturally introverted but I want to continue speaking and expressing myself and learning how to do it better. I want to try new ways of expressing myself. It will not be easy but I want to push myself to feel as ready as I can.