nyawiji
In Pairs | Redening Connections in a Diverse World Imagine a world where love triumphs over violence, and the sight of two men holding hands warms our hearts more than any weapon ever could. In our society, being queer often means wrestling with conicting beliefs and inner battles. I've had my fair share of those struggles, but when I look back on my spiritual journey and sexual orientation, they've always been separate aspects of my identity—sometimes intertwining, sometimes standing alone. At least, that's how I see it. During a lighthearted chat about our queer identities, a friend shared a fascinating insight: "Think about the concept of 'pairs.' It doesn't have to be limited to the conventional. Adam and Wawan, Eve and Fatimah—they can be pairs too, in their own way." Let our minds soar with the possibilities, delving into a world where diversity is not only embraced but celebrated. Together, let us #ImagineEquality and kindle the ames of acceptance, fostering a society that cherishes the beauty of love in all its forms.
This zine is an invitation to share in my deeply personal journey of self-discovery, love, and the unapologetic celebration of our true selves.
In Pairs | Redening Connections in a Diverse World Imagine a world where love triumphs over violence, and the sight of two men holding hands warms our hearts more than any weapon ever could. In our society, being queer often means wrestling with conicting beliefs and inner battles. I've had my fair share of those struggles, but when I look back on my spiritual journey and sexual orientation, they've always been separate aspects of my identity—sometimes intertwining, sometimes standing alone. At least, that's how I see it. During a lighthearted chat about our queer identities, a friend shared a fascinating insight: "Think about the concept of 'pairs.' It doesn't have to be limited to the conventional. Adam and Wawan, Eve and Fatimah—they can be pairs too, in their own way." Let our minds soar with the possibilities, delving into a world where diversity is not only embraced but celebrated. Together, let us #ImagineEquality and kindle the ames of acceptance, fostering a society that cherishes the beauty of love in all its forms.
"What if your younger self, the 10-year-old version of you, met the person you've become today, but without knowing it's his future self?"
startled him. It wasn't even the sunglasses casually perched on my forehead or the multitude of rings decorating my ngers. It was something deeper, something more profound. I knew he would be afraid, not because of my outward appearance, but because of the vast chasm that separated our beliefs, our realities. The world I navigated with condence and pride was alien and unfamiliar to him. It was light-years away from the world he knew. His fear would stem from the radical acceptance and celebration of my own identity, a concept he could not grasp at his tender age. He would be perplexed by the colorful pride ags adorning my space, the condent way I held hands with my partner, the unabashed discussions about love and relationships among my friends. All of these were realms he had yet to explore, territories he had yet to conquer. Though we might share similarities, like our black-painted nails, the dierences would be glaring. He would hide his nail color, positioning his ngers so that no one could see. But I would proudly display mine, my way of saying, "This is who I am, unapologetically." In Pairs | Redening Connections in a Diverse World For my younger self, my queer identity would be a puzzle too complex to solve, a future too distant to imagine. But perhaps, deep Imagine a world where love triumphs over violence, and the sight of down, he would sense a glimmer of hope—a icker of the possibility that one day, he too could break free from his cocoon of fear and two men holding hands warms our hearts more than any weapon ever could. step into the vibrant, authentic world that awaited him. spiritualism 01 In our society, being queer often means wrestling with conicting beliefs and inner battles. I've had my fair share of those struggles, but when I look back on my spiritual journey and sexual orientation, they've always been separate aspects of my identity—sometimes intertwining, sometimes standing alone. At least, that's how I see it. During a lighthearted chat about our queer identities, a friend shared a fascinating insight: "Think about the concept of 'pairs.' It doesn't have to be limited to the conventional. Adam and Wawan, Eve and Fatimah—they can be pairs too, in their own way." Let our minds soar with the possibilities, delving into a world where diversity is not only embraced but celebrated. Together, let us #ImagineEquality and kindle the ames of acceptance, fostering a society that cherishes the beauty of love in all its forms.
“does he will feel safe or what he will feel?” My ex-partner had once asked.
Such a simple question, yet it pierced through the layers of my consciousness, sparking a whirlwind of emotions and memories. The ideal response, one might think, would be "yes, of course, he would feel safe." But it's never that easy.
As I closed my eyes and allowed myself to drift back in time, I found myself standing in my own shoes, the shoes of a 10-year-old boy who hadn't yet unraveled the complexities of his own identity. I could vividly recall where he lived, what he knew, and most importantly, what he felt and feared.
From his eyes, I gazed upon the person I had become, the person he could never have fathomed. It wasn't the tattoos adorning my body or the two earrings swaying gently from my left ear that would have startled him. It wasn't even the sunglasses casually perched on my forehead or the multitude of rings decorating my ngers. It was something deeper, something more profound.
I knew he would be afraid, not because of my outward appearance, but because of the vast chasm that separated our beliefs, our realities. The world I navigated with condence and pride was alien and unfamiliar to him. It was light-years away from the world he knew.
His fear would stem from the radical acceptance and celebration of my own identity, a concept he could not grasp at his tender age. He would be perplexed by the colorful pride ags adorning my space, the condent way I held hands with my partner, the unabashed discussions about love and relationships among my friends. All of these were realms he had yet to explore, territories he had yet to conquer.
“does he will feel safe or what he will feel?” My ex-partner had once asked. Such a simple question, yet it pierced through the layers of my consciousness, sparking a whirlwind of emotions and memories. The ideal response, one might think, would be "yes, of course, he would feel safe." But it's never that easy. As I closed my eyes and allowed myself to drift back in time, I found myself standing in my own shoes, the shoes of a 10-year-old boy who hadn't yet unraveled the complexities of his own identity. I could vividly recall where he lived, what he knew, and most importantly, what he felt and feared. In Pairs | Redening Connections in a Diverse World From his eyes, I gazed upon the person I had become, the person he Imagine a world where love triumphs over violence, and the sight of could never have fathomed. It wasn't the tattoos adorning my body two men holding hands warms our hearts more than any weapon or the two earrings swaying gently from my left ear that would have ever could. spiritualism 02 In our society, being queer often means wrestling with conicting beliefs and inner battles. I've had my fair share of those struggles, but when I look back on my spiritual journey and sexual orientation, they've always been separate aspects of my identity—sometimes intertwining, sometimes standing alone. At least, that's how I see it. During a lighthearted chat about our queer identities, a friend shared a fascinating insight: "Think about the concept of 'pairs.' It doesn't have to be limited to the conventional. Adam and Wawan, Eve and Fatimah—they can be pairs too, in their own way." Let our minds soar with the possibilities, delving into a world where diversity is not only embraced but celebrated. Together, let us #ImagineEquality and kindle the ames of acceptance, fostering a society that cherishes the beauty of love in all its forms.
Though we might share similarities, like our black-painted nails, the dierences would be glaring. He would hide his nail color, positioning his ngers so that no one could see. But I would proudly display mine, my way of saying, "This is who I am, unapologetically."
For my younger self, my queer identity would be a puzzle too complex to solve, a future too distant to imagine. But perhaps, deep down, he would sense a glimmer of hope—a icker of the possibility that one day, he too could break free from his cocoon of fear and step into the vibrant, authentic world that awaited him.
this artwork is exhibited in UN oce in Geneva during #ImagineEquality call for artists 2023, on 10th-20th October 2023.
In Pairs | Redening Connections in a Diverse World
Imagine a world where love triumphs over violence, and the sight of two men holding hands warms our hearts more than any weapon ever could.
spiritualism 03 In our society, being queer often means wrestling with conicting beliefs and inner battles. I've had my fair share of those struggles, but when I look back on my spiritual journey and sexual orientation, they've always been separate aspects of my identity—sometimes intertwining, sometimes standing alone. At least, that's how I see it. During a lighthearted chat about our queer identities, a friend shared a fascinating insight: "Think about the concept of 'pairs.' It doesn't have to be limited to the conventional. Adam and Wawan, Eve and Fatimah—they can be pairs too, in their own way." Let our minds soar with the possibilities, delving into a world where diversity is not only embraced but celebrated. Together, let us #ImagineEquality and kindle the ames of acceptance, fostering a society that cherishes the beauty of love in all its forms.
In our society, being queer often means wrestling with conicting beliefs and inner battles. I've had my fair share of those struggles, but when I look back on my spiritual journey and sexual orientation, they've always been separate aspects of my identity—sometimes intertwining, sometimes standing alone. At least, that's how I see it.
In Pairs | Redening Connections in a Diverse World Imagine a world where love triumphs over violence, and the sight of two men holding hands warms our hearts more than any weapon ever could. spiritualism 04
During a lighthearted chat about our queer identities, a friend shared a fascinating insight: "Think about the concept of 'pairs.' It doesn't have to be limited to the conventional. Adam and Wawan, Eve and Fatimah—they can be pairs too, in their own way."
Let our minds soar with the possibilities, delving into a world where diversity is not only embraced but celebrated. Together, let us #ImagineEquality and kindle the ames of acceptance, fostering a society that cherishes the beauty of love in all its forms.
In Pairs | Redening Connections in a Diverse World Imagine a world where love triumphs over violence, and the sight of two men holding hands warms our hearts more than any weapon ever could. In our society, being queer often means wrestling with conicting beliefs and inner battles. I've had my fair share of those struggles, but when I look back on my spiritual journey and sexual orientation, they've always been separate aspects of my identity—sometimes intertwining, sometimes standing alone. At least, that's how I see it. During a lighthearted chat about our queer identities, a friend shared a fascinating insight: "Think about the concept of 'pairs.' It doesn't have to be limited to the conventional. Adam and Wawan, Eve and Fatimah—they can be pairs too, in their own way." Let our minds soar with the possibilities, delving into a world where diversity is not only embraced but celebrated. Together, let us #ImagineEquality and kindle the ames of acceptance, fostering a society that cherishes the beauty of love in all its forms. spiritualism 05
My Dearest 10-Year-Old Self,
I hope this letter nds you in a moment of peace and curiosity, for there is much I want to share with you. As I sit down to write this, tears well up in my eyes, a testament to the emotions that connect us across time.
In Pairs | Redening Connections in a Diverse World Imagine a world where love triumphs over violence, and the sight of two men holding hands warms our hearts more than any weapon ever could. Life won't always be smooth sailing, though. You'll encounter moments of doubt, hardship, and uncertainty. There will be times when Embrace these friendships, my dear. They will be the pillars of support during your journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance. In our society, being queer often means wrestling with conicting beliefs and inner battles. I've had my fair share of those struggles, you question your path, your choices. Please, remember this: it's perfectly okay to doubt, to stumble, to be afraid. These are not signs of Together, you'll form a sense of "bernaung," a refuge that will oer but when I look back on my spiritual journey and sexual orientation, comfort and understanding when you need it most. they've always been separate aspects of my identity—sometimes weakness but stepping stones to your growth, to the strength you'll intertwining, sometimes standing alone. At least, that's how I see it. discover within. One piece of advice that I wish I had known when I was your age is this: "Queer people don’t grow up as ourselves. We grew up playing During a lighthearted chat about our queer identities, a friend As you grow older, you'll embrace your queerness with a deep sense a version of ourselves that sacrices authenticity to minimize humiliation and prejudice. The massive task of our adult lives is to unpick shared a fascinating insight: "Think about the concept of 'pairs.' It of pride and condence. You'll nd a community that accepts and doesn't have to be limited to the conventional. Adam and Wawan, celebrates you for exactly who you are. Your journey to self-acceptance will be a profound one, marked by challenges, but it will be which parts of ourselves are truly ours and which parts were created Eve and Fatimah—they can be pairs too, in their own way." to protect us." worth it. You'll come to understand that love takes countless forms, Let our minds soar with the possibilities, delving into a world where and you, my dear, are deserving of every single one. It's a journey you'll still be on when you're older, trying to understand the dierent layers of yourself and how they've been shaped diversity is not only embraced but celebrated. Together, let us #ImagineEquality and kindle the ames of acceptance, fostering a I want to introduce you to some incredible souls who will become a by the world around you. But always remember that authenticity is society that cherishes the beauty of love in all its forms. cherished part of your journey. Anggun, a compassionate Pisces, will a beautiful and powerful thing. Embrace your true self, my dear be your anchor and guide, helping you navigate every twist and 10-year-old self, and never be afraid to unpick the layers to discover turn. Inun, a steadfast presence, will oer unwavering support, and the real you. Galuh will become one of the voices you call home. In Bali, you'll meet Sasa, who will be a lot of help in your adjustment to this beautiful place, marking your identity with a meaningful With tears of love and a soothing embrace, tattoo. And never forget Ayu, a friend who will stand by your side, Your Older Self never leaving your side, a constant source of strength. spiritualism 06
First and foremost, please know that you are deeply loved, just as you are. I can feel the weight of your worries, your sense of being different. But let me assure you, that very dierence is a radiant and unique facet of who you are. It will shape your life in remarkable ways.
Right now, you reside in Bali, a place of stunning beauty and rich culture. It's a gift beyond measure. Cherish each day, breathe in the colors, the melodies, and the stories that surround you. These moments will become the palette for your art, a canvas onto which you'll pour your soul.
Speaking of art, your passion for creating will lead you on an incredible journey. Your digital artwork, the very essence of your imagination, will be chosen and displayed in Geneva by the United Nations. It's an honor beyond your wildest dreams, a testament to the power of your creativity and your unique perspective as a queer artist.
Life won't always be smooth sailing, though. You'll encounter moments of doubt, hardship, and uncertainty. There will be times when you question your path, your choices. Please, remember this: it's perfectly okay to doubt, to stumble, to be afraid. These are not signs of weakness but stepping stones to your growth, to the strength you'll discover within.
In Pairs | Redening Connections in a Diverse World Imagine a world where love triumphs over violence, and the sight of two men holding hands warms our hearts more than any weapon ever could. My Dearest 10-Year-Old Self, Embrace these friendships, my dear. They will be the pillars of support during your journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance. In our society, being queer often means wrestling with conicting beliefs and inner battles. I've had my fair share of those struggles, I hope this letter nds you in a moment of peace and curiosity, for Together, you'll form a sense of "bernaung," a refuge that will oer but when I look back on my spiritual journey and sexual orientation, there is much I want to share with you. As I sit down to write this, comfort and understanding when you need it most. they've always been separate aspects of my identity—sometimes tears well up in my eyes, a testament to the emotions that connect intertwining, sometimes standing alone. At least, that's how I see it. One piece of advice that I wish I had known when I was your age is us across time. this: "Queer people don’t grow up as ourselves. We grew up playing During a lighthearted chat about our queer identities, a friend First and foremost, please know that you are deeply loved, just as a version of ourselves that sacrices authenticity to minimize humiliation and prejudice. The massive task of our adult lives is to unpick shared a fascinating insight: "Think about the concept of 'pairs.' It you are. I can feel the weight of your worries, your sense of being different. But let me assure you, that very dierence is a radiant and doesn't have to be limited to the conventional. Adam and Wawan, which parts of ourselves are truly ours and which parts were created Eve and Fatimah—they can be pairs too, in their own way." unique facet of who you are. It will shape your life in remarkable to protect us." ways. Let our minds soar with the possibilities, delving into a world where It's a journey you'll still be on when you're older, trying to understand the dierent layers of yourself and how they've been shaped diversity is not only embraced but celebrated. Together, let us Right now, you reside in Bali, a place of stunning beauty and rich culture. It's a gift beyond measure. Cherish each day, breathe in the #ImagineEquality and kindle the ames of acceptance, fostering a by the world around you. But always remember that authenticity is society that cherishes the beauty of love in all its forms. colors, the melodies, and the stories that surround you. These moments will become the palette for your art, a canvas onto which a beautiful and powerful thing. Embrace your true self, my dear 10-year-old self, and never be afraid to unpick the layers to discover you'll pour your soul. the real you. Speaking of art, your passion for creating will lead you on an incredible journey. Your digital artwork, the very essence of your imagination, will be chosen and displayed in Geneva by the United Nations. With tears of love and a soothing embrace, It's an honor beyond your wildest dreams, a testament to the power Your Older Self of your creativity and your unique perspective as a queer artist. spiritualism 07
As you grow older, you'll embrace your queerness with a deep sense of pride and condence. You'll nd a community that accepts and celebrates you for exactly who you are. Your journey to self-acceptance will be a profound one, marked by challenges, but it will be worth it. You'll come to understand that love takes countless forms, and you, my dear, are deserving of every single one.
I want to introduce you to some incredible souls who will become a cherished part of your journey. Anggun, a compassionate Pisces, will be your anchor and guide, helping you navigate every twist and turn. Inun, a steadfast presence, will oer unwavering support, and Galuh will become one of the voices you call home.
In Bali, you'll meet Sasa, who will be a lot of help in your adjustment to this beautiful place, marking your identity with a meaningful tattoo. And never forget Ayu, a friend who will stand by your side, never leaving your side, a constant source of strength.
In Pairs | Redening Connections in a Diverse World Imagine a world where love triumphs over violence, and the sight of two men holding hands warms our hearts more than any weapon ever could. My Dearest 10-Year-Old Self, Life won't always be smooth sailing, though. You'll encounter moments of doubt, hardship, and uncertainty. There will be times when In our society, being queer often means wrestling with conicting beliefs and inner battles. I've had my fair share of those struggles, I hope this letter nds you in a moment of peace and curiosity, for you question your path, your choices. Please, remember this: it's perfectly okay to doubt, to stumble, to be afraid. These are not signs of but when I look back on my spiritual journey and sexual orientation, there is much I want to share with you. As I sit down to write this, they've always been separate aspects of my identity—sometimes tears well up in my eyes, a testament to the emotions that connect weakness but stepping stones to your growth, to the strength you'll intertwining, sometimes standing alone. At least, that's how I see it. discover within. us across time. During a lighthearted chat about our queer identities, a friend First and foremost, please know that you are deeply loved, just as As you grow older, you'll embrace your queerness with a deep sense shared a fascinating insight: "Think about the concept of 'pairs.' It you are. I can feel the weight of your worries, your sense of being different. But let me assure you, that very dierence is a radiant and of pride and condence. You'll nd a community that accepts and doesn't have to be limited to the conventional. Adam and Wawan, celebrates you for exactly who you are. Your journey to self-acceptance will be a profound one, marked by challenges, but it will be Eve and Fatimah—they can be pairs too, in their own way." unique facet of who you are. It will shape your life in remarkable worth it. You'll come to understand that love takes countless forms, ways. Let our minds soar with the possibilities, delving into a world where and you, my dear, are deserving of every single one. diversity is not only embraced but celebrated. Together, let us Right now, you reside in Bali, a place of stunning beauty and rich culture. It's a gift beyond measure. Cherish each day, breathe in the #ImagineEquality and kindle the ames of acceptance, fostering a I want to introduce you to some incredible souls who will become a society that cherishes the beauty of love in all its forms. colors, the melodies, and the stories that surround you. These moments will become the palette for your art, a canvas onto which cherished part of your journey. Anggun, a compassionate Pisces, will be your anchor and guide, helping you navigate every twist and you'll pour your soul. turn. Inun, a steadfast presence, will oer unwavering support, and Galuh will become one of the voices you call home. Speaking of art, your passion for creating will lead you on an incredible journey. Your digital artwork, the very essence of your imagination, will be chosen and displayed in Geneva by the United Nations. In Bali, you'll meet Sasa, who will be a lot of help in your adjustment to this beautiful place, marking your identity with a meaningful spiritualism 08 It's an honor beyond your wildest dreams, a testament to the power tattoo. And never forget Ayu, a friend who will stand by your side, of your creativity and your unique perspective as a queer artist. never leaving your side, a constant source of strength.
Embrace these friendships, my dear. They will be the pillars of support during your journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance. Together, you'll form a sense of "bernaung," a refuge that will oer comfort and understanding when you need it most.
One piece of advice that I wish I had known when I was your age is this: "Queer people don’t grow up as ourselves. We grew up playing a version of ourselves that sacrices authenticity to minimize humiliation and prejudice. The massive task of our adult lives is to unpick which parts of ourselves are truly ours and which parts were created to protect us."
It's a journey you'll still be on when you're older, trying to understand the dierent layers of yourself and how they've been shaped by the world around you. But always remember that authenticity is a beautiful and powerful thing. Embrace your true self, my dear 10-year-old self, and never be afraid to unpick the layers to discover the real you.
With tears of love and a soothing embrace, Your Older Self
The Knight of Swords: A Journey to Self-Discovery
Coming into your identity as a queer person is a profound and empowering journey. As you stand on the threshold of self-discovery, I want to share some heartfelt advice, much like the Knight of Swords charging forward with determination. This letter is for you, my 10-year-old self, to remind you of the strength, resilience, and pride that will carry you through life.
1. Embrace Your Authenticity: Dear younger self, it's essential to know that you are perfect just the way you are. Your sexual orientation is a beautiful facet of your identity, and it does not dene your worth as a person. Embrace your authenticity with pride; it's the key to living a fullled life.
2. Educate and Advocate:
Knowledge is power, my dear self. Educate yourself about LGBTQ+ history and issues. Being well-informed will em power you to navigate the world with condence. Use your knowledge to advocate for equality and support those who need it within our community.
3. Surround Yourself with Supportive
People:
Seek out friends, family members, and mentors who accept and celebrate your true self. These people will become your pillars of strength, oering unwavering support throughout your journey.
4. Self-Care Is Vital:
Remember, self-compassion and self-care are non-negotia ble. Take care of your physical and mental health, and don't hesitate to seek professional help or join support groups if needed. Your well-being is paramount.
5. Challenge Stereotypes:
As you grow, you'll encounter stereotypes and prejudices. Just like the Knight of Swords, stand up against them. Be a voice for positive change, and show the world that love is love, regardless of gender.
6. Love Without Fear: Love is a beautiful and essential part of life. Don't be afraid to love openly and authentically. Love knows no gender, and you deserve happiness and love just as much as anyone else.
7. Set Goals and Pursue Dreams: Dream big, my dear self. Set ambitious goals and work towards them with unwavering determination. Your sexual orientation should never limit your aspirations. You can achieve anything you set your mind to.
8. Stay True to Your Values:
Develop a strong moral compass and stay true to your values. Your integrity will be your guiding light through life's challenges, helping you make the right decisions and shape your path with purpose.
9. It Gets Better:
Life may seem challenging now, but trust me, it gets better. As you grow and become more comfortable with your iden tity, life will become more fullling and rewarding. These challenges will lead to personal growth and a stronger sense of self.
10. You Are Loved:
Always remember that you are loved and worthy of love. Love and acceptance start within yourself. Once you truly love and accept who you are, others will too. Your journey is a testament to the strength of the human spirit.
nggun, nun, terimakasih!
Write your love letter to your inner child here
part 2 spiritualism 14 part 2 spiritualism 16 queer spiritualism